Successful Weight Loss In The Suburbs

Does My Marriage Make Me Look Fat?

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 19:59:00 +0000

This New York Times Magazine article explores if marriage is good for your health.

In essence it says that a good marriage is good for your health and a bad marriage is not. Duh. There is no doubt in my mind that I am healthier, thinner, happier, cuter, kinder and much more productive when I am getting along with my husband.

(So, not being healthy, thin, happy, cute, kind and productive is all my husband's fault? I thought so. It couldn't be the Doritos.)

Picture Slide Show

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 05:55:00 +0000

Beyonce Wannabe!

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Thu, 13 May 2010 19:42:00 +0000

Last night I stayed up really late and channel surfed. I found Oprah interviewing Geneen Roth author of Women Food and God.

I kind of liked the show and I thought that the message was significant. As much as I have been obsessing about weight loss and how my emotional barometer drives my pursuit of fitness, this particular show should have been a real attention grabber for me. But sorry to say, I just wasn't that inspired. In fact, it had the opposite effect. During the commercial break I ran to the kitchen to fetch a big bowl of Rice Chex.

This morning a friend forwarded a Anita Renfroe video to me. Anita Renfroe is a comedian that I discovered several years ago when her William Tell Overture Mom Song became a YouTube sensation.

The video was Anita's interpretation of Beyonce's "Put a Ring on It." Anita's version? "If I'd known I would have put some cream on it." It was hilarious! The video has since disappeared from the internet. I'm not going to type a nasty diatribe about conservatives and their lacking sense of humor and how they were probably the ugly driving force behind the removal of this fantastic piece of art.

But, I miss Anita's video. It was real inspiration for me!

I totally agree with Oprah and Geneen's work. I need to accept myself just as I am in order to embrace a loving and nurturing lifestyle. If I see myself as crap, that's exactly how I'll treat myself. But the thing that Oprah forgot to tell me, which Anita Renfroe did so well, is that I need to lighten up and get a sense of humor about it all!

Today? It is 2:40pm and, so far, I've eaten beautiful and healthy food, worthy of a Beyonce wannabe!

(Imagine me standing up, walking away from the computer and doing a little Beyonce finger and booty wagging.)

Sabotage

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:26:00 +0000

The first woman that I profiled for my writing project, Success In The Suburbs, is my mother-in-law, Ann. She is also one of the many saboteurs of my weight loss journey. It isn't just the Valentine's cookies. I could probably resist them. (Not really.)

She is that voice in the back of the head that says, "Sacrifice. Family first. Big homemade meals mean love."

Do you have someone in your life like that?

Day 76 Attitude

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 00:15:00 +0000

All You Need Is A Supportive Husband?

Today is Day 76 in my journey and it marks my return to Successful Weight Loss In The Suburbs. I have not recorded my behavior in this blog for five days. The last time I posted an entry was last Wednesday, Day 70. I’ve certainly not been a perfect example of health and fitness during my first 70 days but I was a perfect recorder. I took the time to record each little, and not so little, morsel that entered my mouth and I recorded my exercise, or lack thereof.

I’m not exactly sure how I let this happen. This blog has meant so much to me but for the last few days I've simply been an emotional miracle and I couldn't work. Either I’m getting my period or my hormones are doing some serious flirting with menopause or my husband actually is an asshole.

Yes, it is possible that it is his fault.

When I met this guy in June 1997, I thought he was one of the most interesting people I had ever met and certainly the best kisser. I was just gaga over him and I didn't hold anything back. I clearly remember how my body melted into his and cooing that I was made to be with him.

So when times are tough, like they have been the last few days, he likes to say things like, "Remember when you used to say that you were made to be with me."

Then I say, "Yes, I remember that and do you remember what you said back to me?"

With plenty of dramatic body language I do my best University of Chicago arrogant intellectual intonation, "Well, you know, Denise, there are over 6.5 billion people on the planet. Since I'm only interested in relationships with about half of them, you know, the women, and taking into consideration natural restrictions, like time and geography, I guess that it is possible, on a suboptimal level, that you may be the perfect woman for me."

Yeah, he is probably an asshole.

This weekend we had a conflict. I was really, really, really mad at him. We talked, loudly, about the actual conflict, but it was difficult for me to hear anything he said because it was always accompanied by some story about how he made sure that my car had a full tank of gas, good wind shield wipers and tires with special siping.

I had to look up the word siping.

He spent the entire weekend reminding me, and God - I'm sure, of all the amazingly sweet, considerate, self sacrificing things that he has done for me and the children and how he always snow blows the neighbors sidewalks, too.

In turn, and without hesitation, I was able to regale him, everyone in our house, and God - if he was still listening at this point, with real stories that negated, contradicted and usually trumped his good deeds. Including the fact that he has some Sick Michigan Bred Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor Power Tool Fetish that takes over his body when he gets behind that noisy snow blower and that he can't stop himself. "You're not snow blowing for ShowPing and Freda. You're snow blowing those sidewalks because you've got a problem!"

Today I think we've finally called a truce. He stopped telling me he is practically the Mesiah and has started rubbing my feet. (Rubbing, not washing, there is a difference.) And I'm writing nasty things about him on my blog.

If you are interested in reading a great article about dysfunctional expectations for marriage, click on this link: Married (Happily) With Issues.

Day 71 Fitness

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 03:35:00 +0000

Water Aerobics -- 1 hour (in the morning)

I planned to attend a 6:00pm Pilates Reformer Class. But the difficulty of getting my husband, teen-age son and the terrorists to merge into alignment would have caused the world to implode. So I didn't attend my class and thus began my personal meltdown.

Day 70 Fitness

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 05:59:00 +0000

No Exercise

A couple of women in my neighborhood have a jewelry business named "Rosie Pickles." They had a little party today and I attended, instead of exercising.

Day 70 Nutrition

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 05:49:00 +0000

Day 70 Nutrition Plan:

Total portions of protein: 6

Total portions of carbohydrates: 6

Total water: 85 oz or 10 1/2 cups

Day 70 Nutrition Actual Accomplishments:
Total portions of protein: 5

Total portions of carbohydrates: 4

Total water: 64 oz

8:00 Breakfast

Leftover Beef Stew

Coffee

16 oz Perrier

12:30 Snack

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread at a Party

Starbucks Double Tall Non-Fat Latte

3:00 Snack

2 Hard Boiled Eggs

16 oz Perrier

6:00 Dinner

BBQ Ribs

Broccoli

16 oz Perrier

8:30 Snack

3 Stale Crackers

Lunch Bag Size of Baked Lay’s Chips

16 oz Perrier

Room For Improvement: I should have had an evening snack with a nice protein and healthy carb such as .... I have no idea. I can't even think of anything that would fit that criteria. My brain just couldn't do it. I was totally craving a bag of chips. I went to Costco today and we have a giant box of Baked Lay's Chips. For some reason everyone digs in when the box first enters the house but the last three bags can sit and sit and sit until I pawn them off an unsuspecting neighbor kid.

Since the kids know that I am the self-anointed Queen of the Kitchen, they always ask me before they have a treat and I almost always say, "yes." So everyone in the house was crunch, crunch, crunching with my blessings. I just had to join them.

WebMD.com has an article about the "Best and Worst Bulk Food Buys" and the Baked Lays Box of 30 bags was their choice for the best Chips Lunch Pack. They used varying criteria for their selections and it is an interesting article even if prices fluctuate.

You get 30 bags (1 3/8 ounces each) at 1$10.88 or 36 cents per bag. Each bag has 130 to 170 calories wtih 2 to 5 fat grams, so 14 to 26% of the calories are from fat.

Victory: Eating leftover beef stew for breakfast made me feel so strong and satisfied. It was a terribly windy, sleety, yucky weather day. But I was properly fueled for it. Breakfast food comes in many different shapes and colors.

Day 69 Fitness

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:03:00 +0000

Water Aerobics -- 1 hour

Pilates Reformer -- 1 hour

Day 69 Nutrition

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 04:18:00 +0000

Day 69 Nutrition Plan:

Total portions of protein: 6

Total portions of carbohydrates: 6

Total water: 85 oz or 10 1/2 cups

Day 69 Nutrition Actual Accomplishments:
Total portions of protein: 5

Total portions of carbohydrates: 4

Total water: 64 oz

8:00 Breakfast

Coffee

32 oz Water

10:30 Snack

Energizer Protein Shake at Lifetime Cafe

1:00 Lunch at Noodles and Company (with my husband)

Indonesian Peanut Saute with Chicken (550 calories)

8 oz Water

4:00 Snack

Leftover Indonesian Peanut Saute with Chicken (550 calories)

16 oz Perrier

6:30 Dinner

Grilled Chicken Tenderloins

Broccoli and Carrots

8 oz Water

10:00 Snack

Bowl of Pretzels

Room For Improvement: I didn’t eat breakfast which is a huge huge no no.

I found out this morning that my dear friend, Marcie, had a heart attack on Thanksgiving. She is at home in Arizona, recovering. When I learned about this I found myself completely disoriented. I wrote a note to her husband but I fumbled with my computer to the point of not being able to send the note. Frustrated, I fumbled my way out the door and went to the health club for my water aerobics class.

Of course I was late. I apologized to the instructor and my classmates. “I’m sorry to be late. This morning I learned that one of my girlfriends had a heart attack. She is at home and doing fine but I'm a little confused. She is just 50 years old.”

I hopped into the pool next to a classmate, whom I’ve come to really like. She said, “Heart attacks are a phenomena of your generation, our generation of women didn’t have as many heart attacks when we were your age. You are dealing with a completely new level of stress.”

Then she said something about work and children and money and societal pressures but we were jogging in the pool with our legs pulled high and wide, as if we were football players running that tire drill, so I didn’t hear everything perfectly. But I think I understood her.

I agree with her assessment that, basically, we are wound a bit tighter than they were 30 years ago, but I was curious if her statement was statistically accurate. Are women having more heart attacks?

It seems that my water aerobics friend is kind of right.

Since 1984, the number of women who died from cardiovascular disease deaths has exceeded those for men. In 2005, 52% of all deaths from cardiovascular disease were women. That year 454,613 women died from cardiovascular disease, 268,890 died from all forms of cancer, 41,613 died from breast cancer and 69,105 died from lung cancer. You can download a quick one page report and graph from the American Heart Association here.

My friend Marcie is healthy and has always been slender. She played a lot of golf and seems fit. She doesn’t smoke. She has an adoring husband and a great relationship with her four grown kids. When she visited us last September she nursed one glass of red wine (which is supposed to be good for the heart) for two hours. She’s not a big boozer.

She sells real estate in Arizona, during our nation's worst real estate market , so that could account for her stress, but Marcie just doesn't seem to be a candidate for heart disease.

I plan to call Marcie tomorrow to wish her well and I am sure that I will learn more about her specific situation.

When I told my husband about Marcie, I also told him about my friend at water aerobics class who thinks that my generation leads a more stressful existence which might contribute to the statistic that since 1984 more women have died from heart disease than men.

He said, “Yeah, for years women have been trying to get what men got and now they got what men get.”

The guy is practically William Shakespeare.

Birthday celebration September 2009 at our house. We all share birthdays within a few weeks of one another. Back row: Marcie and my husband. Front row: me, my stepdaughter Lizzie and our youngest goofy daughter Randi.

Victory: I listened to my body at lunch and I only ate until I was satisfied. I saved the other half for later in the day. When I sat at the computer to record my meals I was shocked to learn that the meal that my husband had ordered for me at Noodles and Company had 1100 calories! Wowza! I'm sad that I ate the whole thing, but thank goodness I didn't eat the whole thing in one sitting!

Day 69 Attitude

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 02:24:00 +0000

This is the message that I sent to Marcie's husband from snowy Illinois:

Dearest Brian,

I am so terribly sad to hear about Marcie. I am having a hard time thinking of what to say. I just want to drive right over to the house and rub her feet and smooch the top of her head about 100 times and make something delicious to eat and scrub your kitchen floor (kitchen floors always need scrubbing). I have been obsessing about Marcie the last few days for some reason. On Sunday night, I even crawled up into the cabinet and pulled down my only box of General Foods International Coffee, Vienna. I repeated to my family, for the 1,000 time, that this is the drink that Marcie and I used to share. I insisted that Russ taste it, you know, so he could feel the love. (Yes, Brian, he is a real man. He doesn't like it, either.) Without adding anything to Marcie's to do list, would you let her know that I am available for phone conversation, at her leisure. I read a comment on your Facebook page from someone that said, "Marcie has a good heart." Isn't that the understatement of the year? All of my love and best wishes for peace and recovery. Of course, I am praying for Marcie but I am also praying for you and the children. I know it must have been very scary for all of you.

Love,

Denise, Russ, JC, Tommy, Lizzy, Jonathan, Randi and Alex

Brian's response from sunny Arizona:

Denise

Thanks, feel free to call her, 602-558-9200, she is doing pretty well and phone visits lift her spirits. I think it would be too far to drive especially through all that snow, yuk. Thanks again for the thoughts and prayers.

I guess 32 years of me finally took it's toll.

Brian

Day 68 Fitness

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 05:57:00 +0000

Pilates Reformer -- 1 hour

Day 68 Nutrition

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:39:00 +0000

Day 68 Nutrition Plan:

Total portions of protein: 6

Total portions of carbohydrates: 6

Total water: 85 oz or 10 1/2 cups

Day 68 Nutrition Actual Accomplishments:
Total portions of protein: 5

Total portions of carbohydrates: 4

Total water: 64 oz

8:00 Breakfast

Scrambled Eggs with Canadian Bacon

Coffee

11:30 Lunch

Big Salad

Romaine, apples, sundried tomatoes, purple cabbage, chives, tomatoes, cucumbers, feta, hard boiled egg for protein and a light coating of two different kinds of dressings (emptied the bottoms of two bottles in the refrigerator).

16 oz Perrier

2:00 Snack

Barry’s Irish Tea with Milk

3:00 Snack

Amy’s Organic Minestrone

(this soup was mushy and I don’t recommend it)

16 oz Perrier

5:00 Snack

The Last Bit of Cheez-It Snacks!

10 Almonds

7:00 Halloween Candy Bowl Raid

Cherry Flavored Blow-Pop

7:00 Snack

Beef Stew

16 oz Perrier

10:30 Pantry Raid

Big Bag of Microwave Popcorn

16 oz Perrier

Room For Improvement: I need to get to bed sooner! When I get really tired my body yells, loudly, “Jane, you ignorant slut!” OK, my body doesn’t actually call me Jane. But it is fed up with my ignorance, for sure. When I am especially tired, like I was tonight, I feel weak and the ensuing pantry raid is so predictable that I suppose I deserve a little name calling.

Enjoy this two minute classic skit from Saturday Night Live.

Tonight I’m going to go to bed when my little kids go to bed and read a book by comedian Susie Essman titled What Would Susie Say? Bullshit Wisdom About Love, Life and Comedy. Susie is known for her roll as the foul mouthed Susie Greene on the HBO hit show Curb Your Enthusiasm. We don’t have HBO at our house but I feel like I know the show because it gets so much press. I didn’t know about Susie, per se, until I picked up her book at Barnes and Noble last week.

She is a stepmother to four teenage children which computes perfectly to me, what with her being the queen of four letter words. I guess the comedian part is the ultimate manifestation of the old saying, "If I don't laugh I will cry." This woman may be my soul mate.

Victory: The 48 oz Cheez-It Snack Mix is DEAD!

Day 67 Fitness

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 05:20:00 +0000

No Exercise

Day 67 Nutrition

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 02:20:00 +0000

Day 67 Nutrition Plan:

Total portions of protein: 6

Total portions of carbohydrates: 6

Total water: 85 oz or 10 1/2 cups

Day 67 Nutrition Actual Accomplishments:
Total portions of protein: 4

Total portions of carbohydrates: 4

Total water: 74 oz

9:00 Breakfast

Oatmeal with raisins and craisins

Coffee

12:30

Starbucks Double Tall Non-Fat Latte

2:00 Lunch

KIND Apricot and Almond Bar

Leftover Mashed Potatoes

16 oz Perrier

6:00 Dinner

Meatloaf

Corn on the Cob

10 oz Water

8:30 Snack

Barry’s Irish Tea with Milk

Room For Improvement: I need to add some green food to my diet. Everything I ate today was kind of beige.

Victory: I am not counting calories, I swear, but I think that I ate enough to make my body move the scale a bit! I am ready to see that needle move.

Day 66 Fitness

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 05:19:00 +0000

No Exercise

Day 66 Nutrition

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 02:13:00 +0000

Day 66 Nutrition Plan:

Total portions of protein: 6

Total portions of carbohydrates: 6

Total water: 85 oz or 10 1/2 cups

Day 66 Nutrition Actual Accomplishments:
Total portions of protein: 4

Total portions of carbohydrates: 4

Total water: 74 oz

9:00 Breakfast

Scrambled Eggs and Canadian Bacon

Coffee

1:00 Lunch

Huge Lettuce Salad

16 oz Perrier

6:00 Dinner

Pork Tenderloin

Mashed Potatoes

Carrots and Brocolli

8:00 Snack

International Coffee

12:00 Snack

Cheez-it Snack Mix

Room For Improvement: I only ate three times today. I stayed up way too late and I was exhausted. When I am exhausted my body starts yelling at me. I usually feed it something evil (Cheez-It Snack Mix) to shut it up.

Victory: I only ate three times today, but they were really nice healthy balanced meals!

Day 65 Fitness

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 05:18:00 +0000

No Exercise

Day 65 Nutrition

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 04:57:00 +0000

Day 65 Nutrition Plan:

Total portions of protein: 6

Total portions of carbohydrates: 6

Total water: 85 oz or 10 1/2 cups

Day 65 Nutrition Actual Accomplishments:
Total portions of protein: 3

Total portions of carbohydrates: 4

Total water: 80 oz

8:00 Breakfast

Scrambled Eggs with Canadian Bacon

Coffee

16 oz Perrier

10:30 Snack

Oatmeal with raisins and craisins

16 oz Perrier

12:00 Lunch

3 packages of Dried Pears

3:00 Snack

Grande Chai Tea Non-Fat Latte

16 oz Perrier

6:00 Dinner

Key Lime Pie Yoplait Yogurt

Bowl of Cheez-it Snack Mix

7:00 Snack

Tuna Sandwich

16 oz Perrier

Room For Improvement: I have a beautiful Pork Tenderloin waiting in the refrigerator to be cooked but it is hard to pick at a Pork Tenderloin while plucking away on my keyboard like I can do with a Snack Mix! I should have had more protein throughout the day. I spent the day writing and letting my sore muscles recover.

Victory: I ate several little meals today which is an improvement.

Day 64 Fitness

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 02:26:00 +0000

Water Aerobics -- 1 hour
Exercise Bicycle -- 15 minutes
Lots of Stretching and working on the foam roller -- 1 hour

This is easily the most pain I have had to date. My back is hurting and my hip flexors are sore. I'm not certain what I have done but I am really, really sore. Tomorrow I will have not exercise and try to give my body a chance to heal.

Day 64 Nutrition

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 02:24:00 +0000

Day 64 Nutrition Plan:

Total portions of protein: 6

Total portions of carbohydrates: 6

Total water: 85 oz or 10 1/2 cups

Day 64 Nutrition Actual Accomplishments:
Total portions of protein: 3

Total portions of carbohydrates: 4

Total water: 115 oz

9:00 Breakfast

Scrambled Eggs

51 oz Water

12:00 Lunch

Apple

Kind Almond and Apricot Bar

16 oz Perrier

2:00 Snack

Apple

16 oz Perrier

4:00 Dinner

1 cup Hummus

2 bowls of Stacy’s Baked Pita Chips

16 oz Perrier

8:30 Snack

Peach Activia Yogurt

16 oz Perrier

Room For Improvement: I have a refrigerator full of delicious salad makings but I was so focused on my job that I didn’t want to take the time to put a salad together. That’s why I had two little bowls of hummus and two bowls of pita chips for dinner. Quick and easy assembly! I have so many words in my brain that need to be pushed onto paper that it is like I have some sick obsession that prevents me from making a decent meal for myself. I almost feel like my job, writing, is some kind of hooky from my real life. I don’t love writing. I have to do it. The beauty of this blog is that my writing about food helped me get that part of my life into better focus so that I can have a more balanced life.

Victory: Water! Water! Water!

Day 63 Fitness

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 05:23:00 +0000

Pilates -- 1 hour

Day 63 Nutrition

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 03:16:00 +0000

Day 63 Nutrition Plan:

Total portions of protein: 6

Total portions of carbohydrates: 6

Total water: 85 oz or 10 1/2 cups

Day 63 Nutrition Actual Accomplishments:
Total portions of protein: 4

Total portions of carbohydrates: 4

Total water: 74 oz

9:00 Breakfast

2 Hard Boiled Eggs

Apple

32 oz Perrier

1:00 Lunch

Apple

Hummus

Baked Pita Chips

16 oz Perrier

6:00 Dinner

Meatheads

1/2 Single Hamburger

Fries

8 oz Water

8:30 Snack

Bowl of Cheezit Snack Mix

16 oz Perrier

Room For Improvement: I was so exhausted that I was easily coerced into taking the two little kids to their restaurant of choice, Meatheads. Yikes! I shared a burger with my daughter and ate more than my share of fries.

Victory: I ate two apples and drank 64 oz of water!

Attitude: I’ve got a problem.

My husband and I tell one another everything. When I get a pimple on my butt he knows about it and, unfortunately, vice versa. But I am not going to tell him about the little episode that happened to me today because he will just say to me, “Denise, you’ve got a problem.”

But I’m terrible at keeping secrets and I’m pretty confident that he isn’t reading my food logs so this is a safe place for my confession, so here it goes.

He was in LaJolla, California tonight eating Oolong Sea Bass at PF Chang’s (I told you he tells me everything) so back at home I took the two little kids to Meatheads for a special treat. We have taken the kids to the Meatheads restaurant four different times since they opened. The name alone is reason enough for my kids to love this joint. Each time we have been there, this guy, sometimes two guys, obviously the owners, are seated at tables in the restaurant. They have laptops and piles of papers and cell phones going. At first I thought, cool, these guys are on site. They are making sure everything is running smoothly. This is going to be a successful business.

But on this visit I realized that we, and other customers, were making an effort to stay out of their space. One of the guys, the regular, is a big handsome sort who, I’ll bet you, drives a Hummer. He started pacing around the tables while talking on his cell phone. My husband does this all the time. I like to call it the “I’m working on a big damn deal with lots of zeros attached to it and, wow, does it ever make me feel like I have ants in my pants prance.”

So, the crazy, loud and wild, Meathead dining experience that my kids, miniature meatheads, were looking for felt more like eating dinner at home where we have to keep our voices down because Daddy is in the next room doing that same “... ants in his pants prance” instead of sitting at his desk in his office with the damn door closed.

Now, believe it or not, I don’t consider it my responsibility to mother the entire planet. I just want everyone to reach their full potential, it is my own little philanthropic contribution to the world. That’s why I had to talk to them.

I tried, unsuccessfully, to make eye contact with either of them. Twenty years and twenty pounds ago I probably could have gotten some kind of attention, but I couldn’t get either of them to acknowledge me. So Mohammed would have to go to the mountain. I sent my two little kids outside the restaurant, where I could see them through the glass windows. I have to do this because none of my children appreciate my need to make the world a better place.

I walked towards the prancer, with my hand up as if asking permission to speak, he just put his head down and turned on his heel so he could continue his phone conversation. Then I walked over to the fellow who was seated, also on his cell phone. After a few moments of standing at his table, he still didn’t acknowledge me, so I finally spoke, “Hi! Are you one of the owners of this restaurant?”

He said yes, but he didn’t remove the phone from his ear.

“We just finished eating and I thought that you might appreciate some customer feedback.”

He let the phone drop down from his ear, clearly intending to get right back to the conversation.

We looked at one another with perfunctory, fake smiles. “Sure,” he said.

By now you can see where this is going.

Don’t get ahead of me. My problem is not Meatheads.

My problem is that I can’t keep my opinions to myself. I worked in advertising and marketing for 25 years and over that time I worked with a lot of small business owners, including restauranteurs, and I can’t tell you how many times I would develop campaigns only to see them laid impotent when the customer walked in the door. Getting the customer to the door is only part of the equation of building revenue, once that prospective customer touches their toe inside your shop you need to wrap your arms around them.

I’ve got a purse full of pent up frustration about ad campaigns that didn’t generate the kind of measurable results they could have because a retailer didn’t do their part of the job once the warm bodies showed up at their door step.

A Chicago food joint that understands the importance of customer satisfaction and retention is Portillo’s. Earlier in the week, I took my two little meatheads to Portillo’s (a very unhealthy week of dining) and the founder/owner, Dick Portillo, was there walking around the store chatting with customers. When we were ready to leave the restaurant, Mr. Portillo, who was seated at a small table sans laptop or cellphone, thanked each of us for coming to the restaurant and looked into my little kid’s eyes and asked, as if he really wanted to know, “How was your dinner?”

That is putting your arms around a customer. Give me great product and service and act like you care about my experience which means that you appreciate the hard earned money I just forked over. And if you really want to consummate the deal, act like you care about my kid’s happiness.

After my less than perfect experience at Meatheads I should have just voted with my feet and never returned. That’s what any normal person would do, but like Malcolm In The Middle’s overbearing, authoritarian, borderline crazy mother, I’ve never met a line that I won’t cross. If you don't know Lois, already, you must watch the first three minutes of this video.

I stood in front of this fellow at Meatheads, looking him straight in the eye. Finally he simply clicked the cell phone in his hand off or put it on mute, without saying good-bye or I’ll be right back or anything, confirming my suspicions that his phone call probably wasn’t important enough to ignore a paying customer standing right in front him. Either that or he didn’t want the person on the other line to hear what I was about to say.

I began my One Minute Manager speech which I perfected in the 1980's. State the purpose of the conversation, praise ‘em and then whack ‘em.

“My children and I just finished eating here. The food is good and your decor is fun. We really like the beautiful pictures of Naperville and I see that you’ve even put effort into decorating for the holidays.” I touched one of the many Christmas bulbs hanging from every single light over every single table, for emphasis. “I know that takes time and money. I want you to know that, as a customer and as a person who spent 25 years in advertising and marketing, I really appreciate that kind of attention to detail. In fact, I believe that the quality of the atmosphere of a restaurant can be nearly as important as the quality of the food.”

“This is the fourth time that we have been to your restaurant and it is the fourth time that your partner, or both of you, have been playing office in the main dining area. I’ve gotta tell you we came here for a wild and crazy Meathead kind of experience.” I leaned back and did a little jazz dance with my hands in the air for effect which was a bit too much, now that I think about it, but I was getting myself kind of worked up and I tend to get hyperbolic in confrontational situations, even if they are of my own making. “Instead, my two little kids and I felt like we were imposing on your personal office space. That’s not all that wild and crazy and Meathead-ish to us. If we wanted to sit and eat quietly so we wouldn’t disturb some guy pacing back and forth while he was on an important phone call we could have stayed at home with my husband.”

He kind of fake laughed when I made fun of my husband. My husband is right, the middle aged, chubby white guy is a universally acceptable place to poke fun. As I walked away I added, “I’ve learned that I am a pretty average gal. If I feel like this, other people are probably feeling the same thing. It’s just something to think about.”

And that was it. In a blink, I was outside with my kids. We walked through the empty parking spaces to our car. I looked down the sidewalk of the strip shopping center where the prancer was still on his cell phone. He was walking towards the Buffalo Wild Wings, where the parking lot was overflowing. Even more for them to think about.

After writing this piece I went to the bookshelf to pick-up my copy of The One Minute Manager for old time sake. Right next to it was Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People. Something for me to think about.

Day 62 Fitness

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 01:19:00 +0000

Water Aerobics -- 1 hour

Day 62 Nutrition

noreply@blogger.com (Denise Burks) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:40:00 +0000

Day 62 Nutrition Plan:

Total portions of protein: 6

Total portions of carbohydrates: 6

Total water: 85 oz or 10 1/2 cups

Day 62 Nutrition Actual Accomplishments:
Total portions of protein: 5

Total portions of carbohydrates: 4

Total water: 86 oz

9:00 Breakfast

16 oz Water

Piece of Toast with Peanut Butter

50 oz Water

11:00 Lunch

Chipotle Salad with Black Beans, Carnitas, Chicken, Salsas

10 oz Water

Apple

2:00 Snack

Starbucks Double Tall Non-Fat Latte

6:00 Dinner

Brand New Portillo’s Restaurant in Bolingbrook

1/3 Chopped Salad (no pasta)

Some French Fries

A Chicken Strip

Frozen Custard

8:30 Snack

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

3 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup

10:00

16 oz Perrier

Victory: I rocked on water today!

Room For Improvement: I am an emotional eater. When life is good, I’m snacking on radishes and celery. When things aren’t so great, I raid the children’s Halloween candy and make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!